


needy

by bluesxrgent



Series: thank u, next - elu [2]
Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: Coming Out, M/M, a lil bit of inner turmoil, elu - Freeform, lucas is soft and so am I, supportive king yann cazas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-11-06 07:22:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17935337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluesxrgent/pseuds/bluesxrgent
Summary: Part 2 of thank u, next inspired elu oneshotsMy take on Lucas coming out to Yann :,) (one of my favorite scenes in og) with a lil elu sprinkled in





	needy

Yann was looking at him with concern in his eyes for what felt like the millionth time that week. Lucas didn’t know why he had invited Yann over to the flat other than that he felt like he should do something to right the damage he had caused the week before. Yann claimed that no one was mad at Lucas for the disaster that was last Friday, but Lucas didn’t totally believe him. After all, Arthur had been avoiding him, even though they had most of their classes together, and Basile had been fairly absent as well. Though, that could have had more to do with Basile being Basile than Lucas’ issues. 

There was also the issue of Chloé outing him to the whole school. There was no way Yann and his other friends hadn’t heard all the rumors, right? Lucas looked up to find Yann’s eyes still on him. He sighed. “Can you stop looking at me like that?”

Yann shrugged. “No.”

“Well why not?”

Now it was Yann’s turn to sigh. “Because I’m fucking worried about you, man. Don’t even try to tell me nothing’s wrong either, because last time you said that you ended up fist fighting one of your best friends and nearly breaking your hand punching, I don’t know, a wall or something, which isn’t at all like the Lucas I thought I knew. I told you I was here for you whenever you were ready to talk, and you invited me over here, so I assumed that was your cue that we could have an actual conversation.”

Lucas looked down at his hands, one still wrapped in a bandage. He knew he should just tell Yann, but he couldn’t. What if he decided he was better off without someone like Lucas? What if he told Arthur that he should have hit him harder? He didn’t think Yann was homophobic, but he could be wrong. France wasn’t the most accepting place when you were different, didn’t adhere to the clearly laid standards of heteronormativity and toxic masculinity. Yet he still knew that Yann wasn’t going to drop it until he said  _ something _ . 

“I’m sorry I’ve been up and down a lot,” he started, “Lately… I’ve been on a rollercoaster trying to get a hold of my emotions.” Yann looked at him quizzically. Maybe now wasn’t the moment to get poetic about his feelings, Lucas thought. 

“In what way?” Yann asked. 

Lucas bit the inside of his cheek, considering his next words. “I’ve been going crazy. I can’t sleep, and sometimes I feel like I’m suffocating inside myself. But I can’t tell anyone why. They won’t understand. All I can do is apologize.”

“Yes you can, Lucas. That’s what I’m here for. How many times were you there for me when everything was going on with Emma? You’ve always had my back, I think it’s time I return the favor. And stop apologizing, I told you already, no one wants to hear it if it’s just another excuse.” Yann spoke with such sincerity that Lucas was reminded of why he’d fallen for his best friend previously. It sure was lucky that he’d moved on from those feelings, otherwise this conversation would have been much more awkward. 

“Sorry,” Lucas said without thinking, balking away from the look Yann gave him, “And sorry if I say sorry way too much.”

Yann’s face softened and he gestured for Lucas to continue. “This is kind of similar, actually, to what we used to talk about, with you and Emma,” Lucas confessed. Yann blinked in surprise. “Really?”

Lucas nodded. “It’s because of a person I like.”

“Chloé?”

Lucas almost laughed. If only it were that simple. “No, not Chloé.”

“Wait.” Yann paused a moment. “It’s not… Emma, is it?”

“Oh, God! No! Who do you think I am?” Lucas nearly shrieked in indignation. Yann put his hands up in mock surrender. 

“I’m no good at guessing, man. Can’t you just tell me?”

Lucas swallowed slowly, feeling his throat pulse. The words he needed wouldn’t come. “I can give you a hint.”

The corner of Yann’s mouth twitched up. “A hint?”

Lucas nodded again. He tasted blood and realized that he had bitten the inside of his cheek again, a little bit too hard. Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Yann was looking at him expectantly, so he found it in himself to force the words out. “It’s not a girl.”

The world stopped. At least, for Lucas it did. He couldn’t bear to look at Yann, who was silent. Then--

“Oh… it’s me?” 

“No! No, no, no, no, no, no--”

“Shit, dude, no need to shoot me down that quickly,” Yann laughed. It was this that caused Lucas’ head to shoot up involuntarily. Yann looked completely relaxed, even more so than he had ten minutes before, actually. “Not up to your standards, eh?”

Lucas searched Yann’s face for malice but came up empty. There was humor in his words and his face looked clear, like a puzzle had been solved. Lucas bit his lip, feeling a wave of relief roll over him at Yann’s non reaction. “No, you’re… fine. Good looking. I don’t know, man!” He coughed. He needed to get back on track before he lost all his confidence. “It’s not you.”

Yann hesitated a moment. “Is it… that guy, the one who had my scarf? What’s his name?”

Lucas nodded. “Eliott. I left that scarf at his flat, the night we were supposed to go to that party with Chloé,” he admitted. Yann’s eyebrows shot up.

“You two have been… for that long?” 

“No, no. I mean, we were hanging out, but I didn’t know he wanted anything with me until two weeks ago.” Had it only been two weeks? Had it  _ already _ been two weeks? How could things have gone so wrong in such a short amount of time?

Yann hummed absently, clearly thinking about something. “He’s handsome.”

Lucas choked on the water he had just raised to his lips. “I’m sorry?”

“What? He is. What else am I supposed to say?” Yann laughed. 

“I don’t quite know myself.”

Yann continued to laugh, Lucas joining in with a small smile. “So… what’s the problem, then?” Yann continued. “If you’ve been together for two weeks? Wait… is that why you missed Basile’s birthday?”

“Yeah,” Lucas sighed, “That’s why I missed his birthday. But no, we haven’t been together. He… he had a girlfriend, and he told me that he broke up with her so we could be together, but then the next day he texted me and told me we were going too fast and he needed space, and then the day after that I saw him kissing his girlfriend at Chloé’s party. Then on Tuesday he came up to talk to me in the line at lunch like everything was normal again, but I just couldn’t do it.”

“Ah.” Yann nodded. “That explains last Friday. Shit, dude, I’m so sorry. Was there a reason why he was so distant all of a sudden?”

Lucas had thought it over many times and there was only one explanation he could think of, painful as it was. “I don’t know, he didn’t say. Maybe he thought that I could be needy?” It was a cop out answer and Yann knew it. He snorted and gave Lucas a knowing look. Lucas continued reluctantly, “The day before he sent me that text, he asked how I would feel about telling my parents about us, so I told him a little bit about my mom, why she might not be so keen on the idea of us together. I didn’t want him to be worried, so I lied and told him I don’t talk to her, but I think he was still worried about it anyway. Maybe he thinks that I’ll end up like her and wanted to get out before that happened. Or maybe he thought I made everything up as an excuse to not tell my parents about him.”

Yann took a deep breath. “That’s fucked up.”

Lucas didn’t have anything to add so he just shrugged. Their phones both buzzed at the same time and they both looked at one another in confusion before pulling them out and checking their notifications. It was a mass message from Daphné through Instagram.

When Lucas opened up the photo she had sent he nearly dropped his phone in surprise. 

“Wow,” Yann said, looking at his own phone, “They really fixed the place up, huh?”

It was a photo of the foyer, which looked nearly unrecognizable from the first time Lucas had seen it. There was now multiple couches, computers, and tables filled with snacks for students. It really did look like the type of place people would want to hang out in. Lucas felt a rush of admiration for Daphné before he remembered the biggest change, the one that had made him nearly drop his phone. 

“I wonder who did the new mural?” Yann zoomed in on his phone to get a better view of it. “It’s really good, I’m impressed.”

Lucas knew who did the new mural. Knew he was supposed to have helped with it. He didn’t, however, know how Eliott had done  _ all that _ in the two days since Lucas had been to the foyer. But it wasn’t just the fact that Eliott had finished the mural so quickly that had left him breathless. No, it was the contents of the mural. 

Encompassing the design as a whole was a large black and white outline of piano keys with the word ‘surprenant’ written in swirling letters above it. There was a candy bar with the word chelou written inside it, a smattering of raindrops with ‘pas peur’ inside each one. There was a million little things that, to someone like Yann, would mean nothing, but to Lucas, meant everything. The logo for Queen, a silhouette of a person standing in front of a dark tunnel with a flashlight, a scarf unwinding with the words ‘salut, mec’, a face mask, the words ‘j’ai vu que toi’ at the bottom, a hedgehog and a raccoon side by side, holding hands for everyone to see. 

“Are you ok?” Yann asked seriously. Lucas hadn’t realized he was crying until a single tear slipped down his cheek. He wiped his face, nodding absently. Yann cleared his throat awkwardly. “It’s really moving, huh? That artist has a lot of talent, I wonder who did it.”

“Eliott,” Lucas answered without thinking. “It was Eliott.”

Yann didn’t say anything at first, just returned his gaze to the photo on his phone. He scrutinized every inch of it before looking back up at Lucas. He seemed to have reached some sort of conclusion. “It’s for you, isn’t it? All of it.”

Lucas huffed out a small laugh. So it was. “What gave it away? My reaction?”

“No, the hedgehog, actually. Looks just like you,” Yann joked, running a hand through Lucas’ hair, ruffling it like Eliott had done not so long ago. They were both silent for a beat. Then Yann whistled low and smooth. “He really needs to break up with his girlfriend.”

Lucas looked up at his best friend, smile forming across his face. Yann smiled back and soon the two of them were laughing, genuinely laughing, for what felt like the first time in months. A weight had lifted itself off of Lucas’ chest. He finally felt like maybe, just maybe, he could breathe again. Lucas was drawn out of this moment when his phone vibrated once, then twice with a new text. They were both from Eliott. 

The first was a picture of the mural, clearer than the one on Daphné’s instagram had been. The second contained four words, words that restarted Lucas’ heart and made his mind race with possibility. He looked at Yann and smiled, happy for once to be Lucas Lallemant, to be someone worthy of being loved. 

  
**Eliott:** I’ve made my choice   

**Author's Note:**

> scream with me about skam france on tumblr: @ livvyblxckthxrn


End file.
